Do you like the things life is showing you?

I have dreams of living a much simpler life. A life without so many bills. A life without debt. A life without so much stuff. I dream of a life in a secluded place in the woods or in the New Mexico high desert or on a tiny island.

The thing about life is that once we become responsible adults our lives seem to gain a certain momentum. A momentum that leads us in a certain direction. That unseen force begins to dictate the kind of places we live. Where we work. Who are friends are and who our significant others are.

Once we begin to move along with this momentum it becomes increasingly difficult to change course. Even when we question our life’s general direction usually we end-up accepting its direction. Even if in our heart of hearts we’d rather be on another course.

This unseen momentum led me to Northern California. Almost as if I was in some sort of trance I made plans to move and without hesitation moved three thousand miles. I only knew one person in the area. I had no job or living arraignments lined up. I just kicked rocks.

Of course I have a history of kicking rocks, many times on a whim. Somehow I managed to survive. But, now, after multiple moves, I wonder if the current direction of my life is the right one. Or more directly, the one I want.

So, what to do. Kick rocks again? Get rid of all of my worldly entanglements and head out into the unknown?

Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know…?

– Theme from Mahogany

What about you?
Do you question your life’s direction?
Have you considered making a drastic life change?


25 thoughts on “Do you like the things life is showing you?

  1. Hey Val

    I hope you are well.

    I don’t know what you should do but I would follow the option that you find yourself thinking of most. I find that the happiest people are the ones who created their own path.

    I think that the gut knows, the heart follows and the brain catches up.

    Good luck with your decision.

  2. This may sound simplistic, but: “you’ve asked the question, and you already know the answer.”

    This is the “pros and cons” stage of decision-making. It’s the final step before a decisive action.

    Best of luck to you, whatever you choose!

  3. Val, I am in the midst of doing that now. That’s why I’ve been ghost in the blog world. I’m questioning my life’s direction and I think I’m about to make some drastic changes. One of the big changes is that, I’m gonna get out of the nursing game. I have nothing left in me to give to other people.

    • Whew, nice to know I’m not the only one going through this. And, wow, that is a huge move, BC. But, I really can imagine that taking care of others would take a lot out of you over the years. So it’s great to hear that you’ve decided to take care of yourself. Congratulations on making this change! 🙂 You’ve given me inspiration!

      Enjoy your holiday weekend, BC!

  4. I understand. Sometimes I would like my kids to set down roots and commit to one place. Buy land to build on or an already standing house. My daughter say’s she doesn’t know where she wants to settle. My son feels the same way. And to a degree so do I.

    Every place is beautiful. Every place has it’s own charm and wonderful people! How does one decide/pick? What’s that illusive thing that will tie you to one place enough to say, “I’m through exploring” I’m finished seeing new places and meeting new people” “I’m staying here” ?

    What my experience has been, I’ve followed my heart and my desires. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been one hell of an adventure, an ongoing one I might add 🙂

    If you have your health, and your strength, then one of life’s greatest pleasures is exploring, meeting new folks, learning new things.

    Take a little vacation to that area, and see how it feels ;D

    • That’s so true. When I was younger I didn’t give moving a lot of thought, I just moved. Now, I’m worried I’ll make a wrong choice and move to a place that I won’t like. Sigh.

      Yeah, good idea. I think I just might take a little trip this fall. 🙂

  5. You go, Valentina, posing dem PROFOUND Questions & whatnot! *smiles*

    Truthfully, lately I’ve experienced an emotional slump & have been asking so many key questions of The Universe. Sometimes what’s required is for us to get out of the way of our own thinking. That can be difficult to do, because no matter where you go, THERE YOU ARE!

    Are you happy? Well, that requires some basic grassroots form of INNER happiness because it’s no one else’s gig to GIVE us Happiness, to bring it into our lives & set it at our feet. That’s on us! OUR onus. (check the spelling of ON-US)

    With me, so much of my personal happiness has been centered in ‘success’. Then a sage person reminded me of something many of us tend to forget.

    Like tuh hear it? Hereitgo:

    When others feel good about you, then you’re popular; but when YOU feel good about YOUR SELF, then you’re successful. Your life’s highest calling will always create the highest level of JOY within you.

    That’s it. That’s all.

    SJ, Valentina!


    • Well, you certainly met my profoundness with profoundness. That’s a great quote, Lin. It’s giving me food for thought.

      Thanks. 🙂

      Have a great Labor Day!

  6. I like the new layout Val. It’s nice.

    You know, as I read this post (twice) I couldn’t help but say to myself that you are speaking my language here. If there is but one significant thing I’ve noticed about myself these past few years it’s this drive that I’ve assumed towards – how can I put this – things that are “for me.”

    It’s like I have lived good and bad and good and bad again and I now own a better idea of what I want to do at this point of my life. So I currently subscribe to things that keep me happy and satisfied and pretty much exclude the majority of things that do not add to my humility and love of life. The results have been nothing short of incredible.

    I am in the process of laying the groundwork to doing something daring (don’t want on speak online), and it’s gonna be a good thing for me. I’ve always envisioned myself packing up and moving to a new city and embracing a much more quieter and simpler and chill way of living. The fact that my woman feels the same leaves me ecstatic. We’ve set ’15 as the year. No looking back!

    Very profound post. Love when you open up on the blog. Your move to Northern California was daring as can be.

    • That’s a huge plus that your GF feels the same way you do about wanting a quieter lifestyle. There’s nothing like having someone by your side who shares your vision.

      It’s impressive that you have made such an effort to steer your life in a positive direction. Most of the time life just happens to people.

      What ever you’re planning I’m sure it’s going to be successful. 🙂

      Thanks, this is the layout I use for my other blogs so I figured it was time for a little continuity.

      Thanks, it’s a hard thing to do to open up but, when I do I’m always rewarded with comments like yours.

  7. This post came at the right time. I’m going through the same thing. While I’m doing things that make me happy (painting, working on film projects), there is still a soupçon of unhappiness in me and I know that I want to make some type of change. I will never find true happiness if I keep doing the same things that I’ve been doing. And as mentioned above, going through through the pros and cons is not easy.

    Speaking of New Mexico, I visited Santa Fe, NM a few years ago and loved it and thought about moving there. But the cons (not many black people, water conservation laws—and I love taking long, hot showers, poor public transportation system, and it seeming like a very sleepy city) made me think otherwise. But I want to find a place for me. Living on the East Coast with its cold and conservative ways is not going to help me thrive.

    “Mahogany” is one of my mother’s favorite movies and she loves that song.

    • I have that same feeling so often about doing the same things over and over again and needing to make a significant change.

      Santa Fe is a beautiful city but you’re right about it lacking Black folks. Albuquerque is more diverse. I want to visit Taos and see what it’s like.

      I thought I was the only one that considered public transportation. 🙂

      The East Coast is home for me but at this point I don’t think it would be a good choice for me either. I don’t think I’d want to deal with the congestion. As for the weather. That’s definitely a consideration. Especially now with global warming and the weather on the East Coast becoming so extreme.

      That’s a really good album.

      • “I want to visit Taos and see what it’s like.”

        I’ve heard nice things about Taos.

        “I thought I was the only one that considered public transportation. :-)”

        I’m not a fan of driving as a necessity. (Driving for pleasure, down long open roads, is another story.) It seems like the only places with decent public transportation are major cities, and that’s what I’m trying to avoid.

        “As for the weather. That’s definitely a consideration. Especially now with global warming and the weather on the East Coast becoming so extreme.”

        I didn’t even think about weather, but I would like to move somewhere that’s warm a good part of the year. I hate winter and snow, and even a mild winter isn’t for me. I want to live somewhere where a puffy coat’s not necessary.

        When I said “cold,” I was mentioning people’s personalities. Too many uptight people over here. Most people in Santa Fe were relaxed and friendly, and the same goes for my brief visit to San Francisco. I want to be around more people who are relaxed, smiling, and happy.

  8. You and me both; I feel like I’m always pondering a simpler life. I mean, compared to most, I live pretty simply already but I’d like it even more basic. Like, off-the-grid simplicity — to that level. I’d be quite happy living in a shack on an island. Or a treehouse. Oh how I’d love to live in a treehouse. While others aspire to buy a huge house or get a Benz, I’m wishing I were brave enough to give it all up and build a house in the woods and live off the land. Oh how wonderful that would be.

    • Wow, I could have written this. It’s so nice to know there are others who dream of this kind of life. Have you watched the off-the-grid videos on youtube? I watch them all the time. There are some about remote cabins, growing your own food, generating power, etc.. I watch those videos and daydream about doing the same. Sigh. Yep, it would be wonderful.

      • Yeah, I often feel like a weirdo for wanting such a bare-minimum life. It’s nice to know there are other people out there who feel the same way. I haven’t watched off-the-grid videos on youtube. Sounds interesting; although I’m contemplating whether or not I should look at them. I’ll probably just be mad at myself for not having the balls to live that simple life.

      • Well, if you do want to look at them, once you get to youtube enter “faircompanies” or “kirsten dirksen”. You’ll find some amazing examples of off-the-grid and small living.

  9. Hey Val, to be honest, I don’t know what you should do.

    Me, I’m a nomad, I know what I’m gonna do…………..

    ………I’m moving to Florida in three weeks, I just up and decided to do that a couple of weeks back. I was offered a position there and accepted it. I always look forward to the new adventure around the corner so I’m looking forward to this move.

    • WOW! Now that’s inspirational to a wanderer like me.

      Congratulations, Reggie! 🙂 *BIG HUG*

      That certainly will be an adventure. I wish you and your wife and family great success and happiness in your new life in Florida! 🙂

      Go, Reggie!

      • You know Val.

        I read and listen to people all the time talk about where they’re from. That place they’ve lived their whole life and me……….I’m a wanderer. I’ve lived in California, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, New York, New Jersey and South Carolina.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s